THE DASHBOARD · SINCE FEB 6 2018
DON’T
PANIC.
it’s printed on his screen. it’s been there through a pandemic, two bear markets and every red candle you ever sold.
he read it once. he kept driving.
the car has no sell button. he checked.
THE ODOMETER · LIVE
WARRANTY:
VOID.
- days since he left
- —
- laps around the sun
- —
- miles on the clock
- —
- 36,000-mile warranty, exceeded
- —
- times he came back
- 0
- times he sold
- 0
worked out live from his real orbit: 1.32 AU wide, 557 days a lap.
THE FEED · 6 CAMERAS
SIX CAMERAS.
ZERO BLINKS.
signal delay right now ≈ —. he’s still smiling when it gets here.
GROUND CONTROL
CALL HIM
HOME.
send a signal from earth. it takes ≈ 5 min to reach him. we skip the wait.
- > line open. earth → roadster.
calls from earth 0 · times he came back 0
THE LOOP · FEB 2018 → TODAY
5 LAPS.
NO EXIT.
DATE2018-02-06
LAP0.00
FROM EARTH—
SPEED—
launch. he waves once.
one lap every 557 days. passed mars in oct 2020 at about 8 million km and didn’t stop. next time he’s near earth: 2047.
BOARDING · SEAT 2
THE OTHER SEAT IS STILL OPEN.
FALCON HEAVYFLIGHT FH-001
PASSENGERYOU
SEAT2 · NEXT TO HIM
FROMEARTH
TONOWHERE, SLOWLY
DEPARTEDFEB 06 2018
RETURNNOT PLANNED
CA
CA drops at launch- get a solana wallet. phantom works.
- fund it with SOL.
- open StonkFun and paste the CA.
- buy $STAR. sit down. don’t panic.